Give Me the Time To Show How I Have Grown

CLICK ON ME PLEASE: Donations for Science Laboratory Refurbishment and Construction of Basketball Court at the NTC, Kaliro


***THE WEBSITE ABOVE IS EXPLAINED IN THE FOLLOWING POST,BUT PLEASE VISIT IT***






I am nearly positive that the buildings that I live and teach in are technically condemned—even by Ugandan standards. If they are not and I am potentially wrong, then by all means they should be and should be fenced off with bright yellow caution tape and be secure from trespassers 24 hours a day…that is not the case though. I live in a house with asbestos roofing; I teach in classrooms with asbestos roofing, and the cement walls are peeling and even have mysterious beige fuzz growing on them. You should especially see this place when the students are on a school holiday—you would think that it was simply the aftermath of a bomb or war-stricken area. Welcome to the National Teachers’ College, Kaliro—my home for the past 18 months—and I would not have wanted to be anywhere else. We push through though, we find a away to make the best of the situation here, and like always we are open to whatever comes our way to make our lives better. Aside from the classroom where I teach Biology to both 1st and 2nd year students, I spend my time and talk with people. If I were to say at this point what my job has been as a Peace Corps Volunteer it has been a professional listener; or a professional laugher; a pro at eating copious amounts of food mainly in the forms of carbohydrates, or maybe even a professional walker (I walk everywhere; and people here tell me that I walk as fast as a man can ride a bicycle). Living as a Peace Corps Volunteer is a job in itself and any responsibility atop that (teaching, building, etc.) can be seen as the secondary activities.
Our students have just returned for the beginning of their next school year and therefore a new group of minds to mold and get to know are ever-present. Amazing that after 1+ school years here at the NTC, Kaliro I have grown to have expectations for the behavior and attitudes of both the 2nd year and the fresh incoming 1st year students. I have found my way to responding to their uncertainties of having a mzungu around, and that is being myself. So much of the first year was spent holding back, trying to appease these thoughts of what I was suppose to be, and now having relaxed a bit and feeling like I am somehow in the comfort of ‘my own home’ have been able to be more of the strange, odd, unusually American that I have grown up to be. Less than 1 week ago a fellow colleague at the college even told me that she was excited how I have changed, and become so much more integrated as myself and not holding back so much. That was a happy awakening. I have truly made ‘a’ home here, a place that I feel that I could come back to, be excited about and know how to be.
In the recent weeks we have been developing a few projects to better promote our college and to further improve the morale of the students and staff that often tends to be rather low due to the standards of the college. Having mentioned that the entire institution is essentially condemned, we have been looking for ways to at least aesthetically improve the college’ image and we have begun to develop projects that will promote that cause. These projects not only will assist in the aesthetic appearance of the college but also assist in boosting the morale of both students and staff to show the pride and loyalty to the college as a whole. These first two projects being worked on are constructing a new and improved Basketball Court and Rehabilitating the Science Laboratories. These projects are described below in an excerpt taken from the website promoting these projects and seeking funding.

Through the joint efforts of the National Teachers’ College, the local community and friends in the USA, we desire to completely rebuild our basketball court and refurbish the science laboratories concurrently. As all of us here at the college have seen the dirt foundation erode and the hoops lean more and more towards the ground on the current court and students and visitors alike express their incredibly discouraging views on the conditions of the science laboratories, we developed this joint project with a matching dollar agreement. As these two tasks show little connection, the college has agreed that a monetarily equivalent match will be made available from the college of the amount equivalent to the construction of the basketball court. The refurbishment of the science laboratories will aid in increasing the current low level of morale and provide an improved atmosphere for the teaching and learning of sciences, which also includes education on HIV/AIDS. Aside from the obvious recreationally athletic benefits of the basketball court, the students of the sports science combination will have a better opportunity to learn and teach the sport to their fellow students and outside community as well as incorporate the sport in to the teaching of Life Skills as an example of team-building and support for one another. Through the implementation and completion of these two tasks, the National Teachers’ College will prove to be a frontrunner in the development of facilities aiding in the education and morality boost that the students of Uganda need.

I can happily say that the college has already pulled some of its weight and this past weekend (October 3rd and 4th) two staff and five students volunteers used funds acquired from the college to repaint one of the laboratories and I can tell you firsthand that it looks amazingly different from before! These are projects that need to be accomplished, and in hoping that we can quickly and efficiently finish these facelift operations, the potential to do even more in the months to come is a sincere possibility. Please, as you can see fit find your way to the website below, and if we can make these small changes below, more changes could be possible in the near future! Your help is indeed necessary and deeply appreciated by the National Teachers’ College, Kaliro.


CLICK ON ME PLEASE: Donations for Science Laboratory Refurbishment and Construction of Basketball Court at the NTC, Kaliro

I love you all...

Cheers,

Daniel Koza




The Current Basketball Court at the National Teachers' College Kaliro. Through these projects we will create a tarmac court and create improved hoops.




The completed Guidance and Counselling Office at the National Teachers' College, Kaliro which will also be used to host the developing Peace and Human Rights Club.

Life, Liberty and the Irrationalities of the US Government: The Unexplained Firing of Dr. J. Larry Brown, Peace Corps Country Director to Uganda

NOTE: The letter below was written by Daniel Koza, a Peace Corps Volunteer in Uganda for 19 months to date, working at the National Teachers’ College, Kaliro. The letter is in response to the sudden and irrational firing of the Country Director Dr. J Larry Brown some 3 weeks ago by the outgoing Peace Corps Director Jody Olson. The firing occurred without notice until 2 weeks after and the reasons have yet to be expressed. Dr. Brown remained in Uganda seeking answers and hoping to be re-instated due to the strong feelings of a false firing. The issues stand that Dr. J Larry Brown was a strong advocate and leader for the volunteers in the country; that he was the strongest leader seeming fit and that the ill-timed sacking of Dr. J Larry Brown needs an explanation as the volunteers in Uganda are outraged at the turn of events as they have lost faith in not only the current-standing in-country Peace Corps Uganda Administration; but also the Peace Corps Head Quarters in Washington DC and the United States Government as a whole.

Guaranteed you are not nearly as ingenious as you think you are, if I happen to be wrong then please be open and honest with me. Decisions like this have been made before, and they will be made again; but that does not mean that we should sit on our hands and keep quiet. The situation is quite simple: new, energetic, superior enters his position with much fervor and ammunition to support his selfless staff only to receive a cheap shot reminiscent of a ‘taxation without representation’ situation. Without their admirable leader in front, the only reasonable thing for this ‘selfless staff’ to do is to band together, and speak their outrage towards those big CEOs, COOs and other big-wigs driving their fancy cars and living in their fancy houses how they have wronged us once again without even a glimpse of consideration. With no sound rationale expressed by these big-wigs on why our chief has been sacked, its left to our own critical reasoning on why these events have taken place; and admittedly these reasons seem far more arbitrary and irrational than why I ever chose to have faith in those big CEOs and COOs in the first place…
Let us get down to the dirty details of the above-mentioned scenario. For the past 19 months I have lived and worked in Uganda as a Peace Corps Volunteer under the ‘guidance’ and watchful eye of the United States Government. For the past 9 months our Country Director, Dr. J. Larry Brown, has been the reliable and supportive chief of our post in Uganda, pushing us (Peace Corps Volunteers) to represent the US in the most positive light and to promote our abilities in assisting the communities in which we live in. Suddenly without any explanation, approximately 3 weeks ago Dr. Brown was released of his duties and not a word was said. What trust am I to have in an administration acting from abroad (The US Peace Corps in Washington DC and the US Government) when I am informed that our Country Director has been let go weeks after the fact, and what little information is available are rumors of personal vendettas and personal attacks? Am I to trust that if the surmised reasons hold true—that the firing occurred due to a push by not only Dr. Brown but many other African Country Directors for Peace Corps for more resources—I am to remain faithful and loyal to those controlling powers of the Peace Corps and Government?
As Peace Corps Volunteers we are striving to make differences in the lives of the people in our in-country communities as well as striking a note with people back home in the US with our stories and our efforts to promote persons in these countries with our most capable of personal support. We are living thousands of miles away from family and friends to live in and improve communities abroad and although our hearts are the most important aspect of our job efficiency here, and integral part of our ability to work was washed away by those very representatives residing thousands of miles away and without any spoken reason as to why, justifying this cause of alarm. Dr. Brown has not only been a vocal advocate for each and everyone of us for our struggle to strengthen the communities in which we live in, he has been a strong supporter of our safety and security as well as personal well-being providing each of us more a reason to push through the hardest of times and to see that what we are doing truly matters. This support is incredibly important for any system to work and be beneficial, and the sudden release of Larry Brown as our leader takes away the faith and hope in the powers that truly control our lives. And I must admit that I have absolutely no faith or trust in the administration that is currently in place, therefore my ability to maximize my support to my community has been compromised; and I guarantee you I am not the only one who feels this way.
The inconceivable sacking of Dr. J. Larry Brown must be scrutinized and it is necessary that something be done now. The possibility that the release of Dr. Brown is justified, but there needs to be an explanation on why, and if so we request that someone who shares the admirable characteristics that Dr. Brown represented be hired to this post. Too many toes have been stepped on and no questions have been answered. Rumors are swirling and these need to stop in order for our trust and faith to be returned. Was this a personal vendetta towards Dr. J. Larry Brown from Washington DC? Was this combined with an inside (within Peace Corps Uganda Administration) effort to release Dr. Brown of his duties? Was the firing legal? The answers need to come, otherwise the overwhelming consensus will remain that the sacking of Dr. J. Larry Brown was an unnecessary, illegal personal vendetta towards an incredible spirit and honest man. Justify the cause of these events and redeem yourselves and if not, then it remains another wound on the heart of America, its people.

Granny

So it is no mystery to the lot of you that I secretly ventured back to the United States for a 3 week stint—and I must assume that the majority of you saw my journey as a gluttonous week holiday from the dirt and grime of Uganda filled with pints after pints of microbrews and as much food as the heart could take (without submitting myself to cardiac arrest). Granted, I succumbed to the copious amounts of beer and non-diabetic nutrients America has to offer, but the reasons and the eventual facts-of-life held the true weight of my sudden escape from my current life…

Amidst the mayhem of Kampala; literally climbing atop the bumpers of matatus lined up outside the old-taxi park I safely was received by the nearest sidewalk, only to find that my phone, and its existence ended by the crushing rubber of one of these vehicles-of-death as they began to move through the muddy streets. Yes; my phone was crushed by a taxi…Hectically attempting to purchase a new phone and acquire my old phone number through the incredibly incompetent and lazy employees at the Zain Point in Iganga, I began to receive numerous text messages, many of them from the United States. Granny; the mother of my mother, had succumb to an ‘accident’ and was in the hospital and I was over 7500 miles away. Of course in making the decision to spend the next 2 years of my life in a distant country—putting myself in to having potentially devastatingly emotional breakdowns due to the difficulties in communication and the lack of those specific family and friends—I could never have imagined the feelings to have entered my mind and body as they did this day and the months to come.

I felt so alone; so distant from anyone who could comfort me from the pains I was feeling. I thought I had prepared myself for this. I had talked myself through this for months that there was a chance; a fairly good chance that something would happen to someone at home. None of that mattered in the end. I could not help either to imagine what all of my family at home were feeling, those who were there to see Granny; those to witness her looking to be some sort of extra-terrestrial science experiment with tubes and monitors surrounding her frail little body. Is it not strange how something that we know to be inevitable can pain us so much? Fortunately having Lisa by my side for so much of the time allowed me to vent, allowed me to be self-depreciating from time to time, but also permitted me to find a way out of these moments. Many times I felt so alone; unable to communicate even with those who I had come to trust and call my friends here. I felt scared, alone and had to find a way out of these feelings. Many of you who know me very well know that I tend to keep my thoughts to myself, I like to keep myself and my plans hidden away often even hidden from myself. This was very much the case with my plans to return home. Thanks to the support of Lisa here in Uganda and the efforts of Sarah in the US to look online for the best way for me to get back to the US the schemes were in motion for my return to US soil. The next person to come in to the picture was my brother; who would be the last to know of my trip home until my landing in the Minneapolis International Airport. If I had myself attempted to purchase the tickets; my parents would have seen a large purchase, and my cover would have been blown, therefore my brother was the best solution to allow things to be kept quiet. Why did I want to keep my coming quiet you might ask? Especially when the route of this sudden trip home was to chase a last-ditch effort to see Granny before the inevitable? For purely selfish reasons; I wanted my time to be my time. I wanted to do with it what I deemed necessary for myself to cope with the stresses that I deal with here and all the stresses that I had dealt with since hearing of Granny’s accident. If my journey had been made known prior I would have dealt with an extensive amount of planning minute to minute the events that would take fold over the 3 week period. I would have pushed more stress on to my already frantic self and knew that to come home I would need to first and foremost make it a selfish venture…I wanted to see Granny, I felt that something would have been missing in my life and would have regretted it had I not come back. At this point nobody else mattered and having made the trip already I would not have changed at all how it had been done.

Amazingly I was graced by many kind souls on my nearly 36 hours of traveling back to Portland…

Sitting between and aid worker from the UK and a grad-student from Zimbabwe on her way to volunteer in the UK for 6 months, I had the comfort of 2 complete strangers, to talk to and learn about different perspectives on our lives and to suddenly feel alive again, able to communicate with someone other than my own inner dialogue.

The waitress at the bar in Heathrow airport in London might have thought I was crazy, but to me she was such a comfort. Sitting idly at a table with a limited number of pounds to my name, I saw a quaint little couple on the end of their honeymoon walk to their table each holding a large glass of water. I was confused, for the life of me I could not recollect if water was free, or if it was safe to drink, or how to even approach receiving such a life-saving liquid. I had grown so accustomed to boiling water or treating it chemically or buying expensive bottled water that I could not accurately comprehend whether or not the water could be free. I slowly approached the bar and asked hesitantly if water was free or not. The waitress kind of snickered and assured me that it was free and even stepped up to the plate by offering me a cute little lemon wedge in this cool glass of goodness. I sauntered to my table, carefully carrying this first sense of reverse-culture shock and began to tear up, as I couldn’t help but to feel that I had forgotten how things work at home.

And nothing could have prepared me for this last woman, and I wish that I could somehow express to her how much this meant to me at this time. Maybe one day she will come across this page, in all likelihood she has completely forgotten about me, but this was just amazing. As I wandered through the Minneapolis International Airport, having just spent nearly 30 hours of flying from Uganda to Kenya, then Kenya to London/Heathrow and London/Heathrow to Minneapolis, I found myself without any money at all. The few Ugandan Shillings I had could not be exchanged, and I was remaining with only a few pence from London, therefore I figured I was left to pace the terminals for the next 4 hours before I took off, and still no one knew that I was coming back to Portland except for my brother who I could not even call because I had no money. Glossy-eyed and overwhelmed by the extravagant airport storefronts and restaurants, I found a set of payphones, which I figured this is the time that I should call Anna and let her know that I was coming home, and would be arriving in nearly 7 hours. Reading the instructions on the phone it said that long distance calls were 25 cents a minute. After carefully approaching a gentleman, telling him of my plight and needing to make a phone call, he granted me my wish of on quarter. I attempted the call and soon found that there was a $1.00 minimum, so I was SOL and couldn’t get myself to go around and find 3 more quarters to make this call. Feeling defeated and having this lone quarter in my pocket, I found a woman sitting on a bench quietly and something came to me that this was the woman who would help me. I approached her softly, describing my situation having just come from Uganda, having no money, and the only thing that I needed to do was make one phone call to my sister to tell her so that she could pick me up in Portland. For much of the past few months I had been stupidly planning to arrive in Portland at 11.30pm without anyone knowing, make my way to a Denny’s on public transport, and wait for daylight to walk to my parents’ house. At this point I knew I wanted someone to be there to find me. The woman at the Minneapolis Airport looked at me as if I was crazy, and claimed to me that her phone battery was dead. I said to her ‘Miss, but as you have your phone plugged in to the wall to charge it is possible to make a call at the same time’ and at this point I think somewhere in her she took me as not being some devious young craftsman but just desperate to finally break the silence, and tell someone that I was coming home. Not knowing that she had blocked her number as I pulled out my phone from Uganda and read her my sister’s phone number to call her, she handed me the phone and fortunately my sister did indeed pick up this (unknown number)! Thinking that I was simply playing some game, my sister did not believe that I was actually in the Minneapolis Airport but soon she came to her own senses. As I did not want to infringe on this woman’s generosity to allow me to use her phone, I made the conversation as quick as possible, and as looking up could see this woman having one of the most genuine, sincere smiles on her face, finally knowing for sure that she had helped me in such an uncanny way and that I was by no means going to run off with her phone. As I finished talking to Anna, the woman offered me her phone to call anyone else I wanted to call, but having overcome the stress and pressure of having held in this little secret for nearly 2 months, I was so relieved that I just wanted to then again, but happily have my piece of mind and not break in to conversation with others. Then the woman, out of the blue asked if I had any money, and saying know she immediately pulled out her purse and gave me more than enough money to purchase a hamburger dinner and a drink at the airport while also apologizing that was all that she had. I could not believe what had just happened, how sweet this woman had been and to have been so generous. I couldn’t help myself, but I immediately reached in to my bag to give the only material item I had, the only thing I could think of, but a paper bead necklace from Uganda, which she eventually accepted, and giving her a hug walked away feeling so much better about this world that I had just flown back in to.

The rest is history; history to be told at a later time. I made my way to Portland, friends and family surprised as ever heard of my being there and I was able to spend time and talk of all of our stories. More importantly I was able to be there for Granny; and even more so for myself. I spent weeks with her, seeing her trying albeit struggling to regain all that she had lost. Everything she had created though was right in front of her. All of her family coming, giving there all to help her get stronger, even though we all knew eventually our efforts would be defeat by some Greater Force. From her bed with all the tubes and monitors she made her way to taking steps, making jokes asking questions and showed an eagerness to pull through to the next day, but something else was calling her. You could tell she was tired, you could tell her body was tired, you could tell that it could be any day. I left America, back to Uganda, where my life was waiting, where so much in me had changed on May 27th. By June 10th Granny was away from the confines of hospitals and elderly homes. She was removed from the hands of a world determined to prolong life whether or not it could be considered a happy life. Granny was back at 1023, in Portland, an address coincidentally identical to her birthday of October 23rd. The home that I grew up in for 18 years and the home that my parents have lived in for 30 and now Granny’s place to call home before she left us. In the wee hours of June 13th, Granny left us to that Greater Force. She left it at home, with her family and love all around her. I so wished that I could have been there; but had I not gone to her before I could not have had her look at me and recognize me, to talk to me to hear her tell me that she loved me, and I could not tell her the same in this capacity. Had I not gone back I would have regretted my entire decision to have come, I would have felt a constant pain and pressure in me, that I do not know if there would have been any remedy for.

I love you Granny…


The picture above is a picture from Uganda. The afternoon of June 13th, shortly after I was informed of Granny’s passing, I placed this flower in to the waters of the Sipi River in remembrance of Granny…

I Stepped on an Airplane in Uganda and Ended up in Portland in Oregon

I sauntered through the Customs Desk at Entebbe International Airport and immediately headed towards the seats near the eventual boarding gate...

I walked along the tarmac, up the stairs in to the Boeing 757 and waited patiently in my seat...

36 hours (16 of that layovers), 6 miniature bottles of wine, 5 international airports and 1 phone call to my sister allowed everyone at home in the US know that I was back on American soil—and was a surprise to everyone but myself.







To be continued...

Imbalu- 17th December 2008

GRAPHIC CONTENT!!! WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK

Hello All! Here is an extended version of the Imbalu Circumcision Ceremony in Mbale, Uganda. The the second two of the three boys are sons of my colleague, Mabonga Deowood at the National Teachers' College Kaliro while the other is a nephew. The boys names, in order of appearance are: Deek, Bernard and Ambrose. Thank you to Mabonga Deowood for allowing this footage to be available.

Beautiful

Walking out the door
I find the skies
Caught my eyes
And I want more

Someday I'll return
Find you gone
When it's all done
I'll cure that burn

But when it comes down to this
The best thing that we can all do
Is to try, and do and live for ourselves
Leaving you alone is not what I meant
Because in leaving you found yourself
So let's try this again and see anew

Call with no answer
Losing the hope
You have no scope
To be a dancer

On the day I come
You've found yourself
Our things on the shelf
That'll be our sum

But when it comes down to this
The best thing that we can all do
Is to try, and do and live for ourselves
Leaving you alone is not what I meant
Because in leaving you found yourself
So let's try this again and see anew

Marching Bands of Kampala: The Last Year in Motion

Marching Bands of Kampala
Walking from the taxi park up to Kampala road one day I heard a lot of commotion...tada! A Marching Band was walking right down Kampala road! This happens, oddly enough, from time to time that a marching band for some cause or another is just cruising on down the road. Actually I get excited every time I do see this, but the sound that is being produced (much to the sad condition most of the instruments are in) is as if it has come from some 1960s Soviet Propaganda film...





Driving to Kaliro
This is just a short clip of the drive between Iganga and Kaliro. Not much to it, just givin' you all a little glimpse what the villages look like.




A Rainy NTC, Kaliro
From my office window, I became stuck for a few hours until I could go home because of the torrents of rain that were disturbing me!




Dancing
In my first few weeks here at the National Teachers' College, Kaliro, I was treated to nearly 8 hours (it was a long day indeed) of the music students of NTC, Kaliro performing for their end of year exams. This is just a short little clip, but believe me when I tell you I have nearly 3 hours of footage from this day!




The Library at NTC, Kaliro
This is the library at NTC, Kaliro. Also this video was taken just after we began to transport all the textbooks donated graciously to the college by KPCB and Mari Baker.




Burn Piles
Just me...burning my trash...acting dumb like I usually do.